BONDING.

 Hello, my gist mates.

Long time no see, how has been your week? Mine was quite eventful, from having light issues, watching movies, trying to penetrate the tiktok space, attending Smirnoff concert by weekend which has not really gone well with me because I have been unnecessary hunger since that concert ended but hopefully I get back myself. I also have 6 outing that I am looking forward to next weekend but of course I wont be attending all of them because I don't have a car. I would have to prioritize and save up for car towards next year.

Attending these events trigger this post about bonding. How do you bond with people as an individual? What are the things you do or share with people that you trust? For some it may be sharing of food, going to parties together, shopping together etc. Personally, I don't like to share my stuff with anyone so if I give you access to my stuffs, I can classify it as bonding with you.

One of the ways I bonded with my mum growing up was through making her hair, she does mine too and those are the times we share gist and be safe space to each other. My mum likes her hair being played with that anytime she wants to sleep she calls me to play with her hair, either by combing it or making cornrows and that woman hair was healthy. I have also pass that hair bonding to my sister because I actually want it to be a family ritual. Whenever she's coming home, I make sure my hair is out for her to play with and I also help with her hair and we get to unwind while at it. 

We also do a lot of bonding by trying new recipe together, watching movies and sharing our thoughts while at it, we make jest of each other before outsider make jest of us, we share secrets and we also hype ourselves up. We don't bond over suffering, we rather pay to ease our stress.

Bonding play a big part on ones memory because when you are no more, one of the things you remember for are those bonds you share with people. One of the ways I am bonding with y'll is to share my experience and gist with you because I don't want to be quickly forgotten whenever its time for me to live.

Song for the Anchovy by Kizz Daniel

THINGS I ALWAYS HAVE MONEY FOR IN MY 30'S

 Hello my gist mates, 

I don't want to call you gossip mates again because gossiping is a bad behavior but gisting with your friends is not a bad thing and if you read my blog, you are considered my friend.

If you don't know, I am in my 30's especially "early 30's" and I am the stage where I prioritize my comfort and peace of mind above anything and if I have my way, I would employ 10 people that will just be taking care of me left and right but I don't have my way and a girl can only wish. I also have little money to get things done so I can try to invest in my comfort and these are few things I always have money for.

1. HEALTH

 As we all know that health is wealth and I prioritize my health (physically and mentally) over anything as I hate discomfort, so I can never be too broke or stingy not to take care of myself. I don't care the amount of medication as long as It is going to help me out of inconvenience, I would have money to get it and that is period.

2. FOOD

I have never loved cooking even though I am a good cook, so I always have money for food because babygirl is going to eat even if the economy is collapsing. I am quick to bring out money when I am buying my meal both raw and cooked, I don't even calculate how much is leaving my account when I do. Food is my bestie and it takes 70% of my income. No jokes.

3. FUN

Everyone version of fun is different meaning what is fun for me may not be fun for you. I like to allocate fund to my fun every other day or if someone is inviting me to my kind of fun, you would never hear me say I cant show up because of money. I would look for the money by fire by force because a child that works well must enjoy well.

4. VEX MONEY

I do not go out without my vex money, it doesn't matter if I am hanging out with a male or female because sometime, you really need to book your cab and disappear without traces instead of being at the mercy of someone. Having your money will save you from public disgrace anytime, so before you step out, check your account balance just incase.

5. DATA

I am a movie lover, that is one of the best way I relax at home and to see a movie you must have plenty data. I also use my data for social media so I would know what's going on out there and of course to prevent boredom, isolation and also connect with family. I never want to be out of reach from those that matters to me. You can never catch me without data.

6. FAMILY EMERGENCIES/BILLS

There is always money for family and emergencies even if I would be sacrificing my meals for a while, those that matters to me would always get what they want. I have money available for everyone that matters to me, without them, life would be difficult for me. I also like to pay my bills because I don't like embarrassment from any one in any way. I don't like my name being called where they owe money.

These are the top things I always have money for no matter how broke I am, the money would come out. There are others but they are not as important because I can function without them but these tops the list.

Let me know what you prioritize with your income/ what you always have money for in the comment section. Lets chitchat like the gist mate we are.

P.S; If you have a story you want to feature on my blog anonymously or with your full chest, you can send it to my email opeyemiaremu0@gmail.com.

Song for the day Baba by Dj Spinall ft Kizz Daniel

I love you 

SHARED APARTMENT AND ITS SHENENIGANS

 Happy weekend my gist partners, we made it.

I woke up to the death of one of my Facebook and also my co-tenants settling fights this early Saturday morning that I should stay longer in bed and be wrapped in a mans arms. Lets get straight into todays blog.

I may be old school or talking from a place of privilege, pardon me. I don't see the reason why 2-4 strangers should live in the same apartment indefinitely without knowing each other prior just to cut cost. I said it because someone has to say it. Now this is very common in Lagos and 'in the abroad'. "In the abroad", there are law that protect tenants and you can only rent through the Landlord, meaning you are covered, you do not sublet from tenant but over here a tenant can just say he/she is tired of solely paying rent/bills or can no more afford it, they will start looking for who to share their apartment with.

Housing situation is very expensive, I won't dispute that but allowing someone you don't know to come and live with you indefinitely is more expensive because there a lot of what ifs and as someone that prioritize her peace of mind over everything, I would run from living with someone I don't know from anywhere to share bills with.

The person can be doing something shady, thieves, have underlying health challenges, poor hygiene, bad character, evil spirit. As much as I do not believe in Witchcraft, I believe some people are very wicked and we were raised differently. Even siblings have different personality not to talk of someone you don't know. You could come home at night and your part of the house got burnt because you choose to live with a stranger or you meet the person dead, how are you going to redeem yourself?

Do not get me wrong, you can also share apartment with a stranger and they will graduate from housemates to friend or family but it is very scarce in this society because most young people are always in unnecessary competition with the next person. You may be running on your own lane and someone is doing everything within their power to pull you down.

This my cotenants they share a 3 bedroom and it's every time one noise or the other, sometimes I pay attention and other days, I mind my business. I don't live with them so I cant say for a fact this is what is happening but I know some of the noise would have been avoided if they live separately. Apart from the fact that I enjoy my own company, this is one of the reasons that I can't allow someone that is not family live with me indefinitely.

Let me know, can you share your apartment with someone indefinitely doesn't matter if they contribute towards the bill or not, or you are like me, one man mopol. Share your thoughts in the comment.

Thanks for always coming back to read my thoughts. I love you too.

PS: If you want to contribute to this blog either by sharing your stories or in any other way, you can send an email at opeyemiaremu0@gmail.com. 

Song for the day: Bank of America by Seyi vibes

THE DAY 1 GOT PREGNANT. FINAL PART.

 Horpsy, where is the part 3?

Even in my sleep, that was all I was hearing. You people too like gossip and thats why you keep coming back here and of course there is enough gists and tea to go around, so don't worry about you not getting a cup of tea except you don't take tea. You noticed I've changed the page theme too so you can feel more welcomed ☺️ 

Lets start what we have come into the room to do (insert beats) (If you know you know 😉😉)

I got of the bus and lied to my dad that I had to take permission in School and I will be home on Monday, this was a saturday, remember? and I was also not in School. I am not looking to add to my problem of not being in school since I left home for the past 2 weeks.

On Monday, I packed just few things and left my boyfriend's place in the afternoon so I can reach home at night. I am from an African home and I have not passed beating so if they want to pounce on me, let it be at night when nobody can see them spoiling my steeze and I didn't know what they had planned for me. 

Depending on how you imagine things, the rest of this tea can be emotional, sensitive, funny or sad but lets continue. 

I got home around 7pm and I met my mum and sister at home and the next thing that came out of my mum's mouth was "Oloyun, eti de" meaning "welcome, pregnant woman". It was funny an akward but I cant find anything to laugh about. I stayed at the door till I was told to come in cos I am not about to step on any more toes. 

I went into my room to drop my bag and I saw that my mum had hanged drip like they do in the hospital, I say " wetin be this abi eyes dey pain me ni". I was then called to come and have dinner, 'yes ma' I think it was Amala and ewedu, the food sweet o but as I was eating, my dad came home and the food just hung in my throat. "he he he he he, I'm not gonna take it easy on my hater' I don't have close rapport with him anyways but because I had done the unthinkable I have to compose.

He said when I finish eating, I should join him in the parlour, I did and he started asking me questions. Who impregnated you? I had to tell him the person i picked to be responsible and No, the person wasn't a stranger infact he was a visitor in our street (someone that came to spend holiday with a known family). He further asked me where we carried out the act, told him it wasn't on the street but the guy's friend's place. He say 'you no dey fear' I didn't answer. He said 'you are better than that guy o, or were you raped' I said No. There were a lot of questions that I couldn't give answers to at that point because with which mouth? 🤭

My mum now said 'even if you want to have fun, can't you use condom' I didn't answer because what is condom or when did you teach me how to use one 🤔.  After all the unnecessary interrogation, I kept the pregnancy and gave birth to my sister. (Just kidding 😂 🤣) I followed my mum to the room and she started looking for veins in my body to pass the drip.

Mum: this drip is very strong to terminate any pregnancy so don't worry, after few hours you will pass out blood and that's you will go back to your normal life.

Me: Yes ma.

The drip was passed, I finished it and surprise surprise, I didn't pass out any blood 🤣🤣🤣🤣 strong belle. I woke up the next day and everyone was petting me as I fell sick 🤭 so that blood can come out. My mum eventually went to work and she kept calling for blood. I am yet to see any oo. 😒. The next day, I woke up to hot pap by 5am because my mum believed that heat will trigger the pregnancy and it will fall out. 

A whole nurse 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I took this every morning and night and the next day, she added gin to the mix, i take with hot pap with one hand, I step down with hot gin under strict supervision. This time around, my father has moved on with his life, nothing concern him again 😂 On Thursday, my mum asked 'are you sure, you are even pregnant? because all this torture should have affected the baby if you are indeed pregnant. I never mentioned that I had done tests, because they would know that I wasn't in school so there was no assurance/evidence on their part that I am indeed pregnant. 

My mum said, let's go to the lab for test, who am I to say No 🤭 On our way to the lab ( I dont know how she got the address cos e far)=+, my mum  told me 'don't put down your real name o' I said okay, we got there, did the test and boom, NO PREGNANCY 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sorry, bad joke. The pregnancy was shinning infact almost 2 months now according to the results 😅. My mum said 'you see your life' I see my life oooo 😩😩 She had to approach one of the staff privately and told them our predicament, simply put 'This child has made a mistake and we need help to abort'

The staff was like 'that one na small thing na, we get sure plug for that' so they gave us the address of the sure plug and the woman wanted to start preaching on how I'm grown and can have the baby that she only attend to teenager, my mum start begging her that we have used medication to terminate and the child may be deform now, she should help us. My mum had to show her I.D that she's a nurse blablabla and she's not going to cast her as we only need help. 

Woman to woman, girl's girl. She told us to meet her the next day with our 15k for the procedure and we would still pay her transport costs. This woman took us from Lagos to Sango inside. I can never get that place if i had complications and wanted to go back. But my mum was with me so i had no fear. The hospital was a one man owned and he had all this small girls as nurse. This life ehn, we never asked if he was qualified or anything, we just want to get rid of the pregnancy and I was just there as the sacrificial lamb.  But I'll rather die in safe hands (my mum) than in Oyo town where I knew nobody. 

The procedure was pretty fast but gory, infact it was less than 15mins. My legs were hanged and an iron was inserted in me to part my privates and another iron to scrape out the foetus. They close my legs back and gave me injection and some medicines I used immediately and the rest routinely. I didn't spend extra minutes than that 15mins and I could stand again and we went back home. On our way, instead of my mum to keep quiet 🤫 she started preaching on how I should not think about it and my own child will come, telling me some people plan to keep pregnancy and have miscarriages so I should see it as one. If I give you blow 🤛

I got home, rested and we planned to go back to 'school' the day after tomorrow so they can monitor me to finish my medicine. On the day I was going back to 'school' I was almost approaching Ibadan when I felt that heavy flow. All my clothes was soaked as if a tap of blood was opened under me 😩 and I was on a black skirt so it could be easily concealed. When I got down the bus (I left the stain for them, hopefully the next person will forgive me) I ran straight to 'Academy' that was the only recognised market then at Iwo road. I bought pad and beg the shop owner to allow me fix it but damn I was rushing. That would be my first heavy HEAVY flow.

I got back to my boyfriend's, stayed for a week more before going back to school and we couldn't have the sex that I had promised him, Shame 😔. I won't lie, this marks the begging of our separation 💔. I kept asking if he would forgive me and he said yes but I know deep down it was a lie. I kept things cool though but few people that I discussed this with advise that I should break up with him if he doesn't because if we get married he would start bringing it up and I will feel indebted to him while he keeps abusing me. Immediately he said he wants to break up with me, I didn't even argue because I was already expecting it.

Did I ever get pregnant after this? Leave that to your imaginations 🤣🤣🤣

Did I regret the abortion? Never ever, infact with who I am today, I'm grateful I don't have a child tying me to someone I may end up hating cos the child go suffer. I will be a very bad mother to that child because I don't know who was responsible till date.

My parents could have done better by giving me an option if I wanted to keep or remove, I didn't have a say on my own body which I didn't like.

Do I still have a womb? I'm menstruating 🤭

Come back to this blog for more juice and tea, I kind of enjoy being vulnerable here. Incase you want to gossip about me, don't screenshot this post, just copy the link and send to your coven people. I need the veiws and who knows, they may end up liking my personality. 

📸: me and my then boyfriend. 

Song for the day: Dance in the rain by Tuface.

#hermothersdaughter #pregnancy #princesshorpsy #womanhood #babygirlforlife 

THE DAY I GOT PREGNANT. PART 2.

 Welcome back my gossip mates, 

Check my previous posts for the part 1 or check this link.

https://princesshorpsy.blogspot.com/2024/11/the-day-i-got-pregnant-part-1.html

I got to my boyfriends place with the bundle of Joy but I couldn't say anything. February was valentine month so we should be celebrating but for where, I was being very moody, I couldn't also have sex with my boyfriend, I kept telling him that My period is coming and back then I use to have wonderful period cramps so he respected me and took care of me.

The both of us started looking for period that I lost for 2 whole weeks before he now started asking me if I had anything I would like to tell him, who please 😈. After much pestering, I had to confess and he was marrrrd, I mean🙊. I wont lie, He handled it like a man, he took me to the hospital to get blood test done and nothing has ever been positive like that pregnancy test in my life that period. 

The doctor was even trying to piss us off when giving us the result, if you had experience, you will know. My boyfriend took me home and didn't tell his parent, instead he went to the pharmacy to get medicine to remove the baby. I took the medicine but no result. Note, my boyfriend lives in a small community and we go everywhere together. It is not easy to bag a Lagos girl but that's not the point. News was already reaching home about our movement.

One day, in my confusion I decided to make a semi cryptic post on Facebook and my mum follows me online, so she thought it was school stuff so she called me and started questioning me, after a little pressure, I spilled and she initially thought it was my boyfriends, started talking about me finishing school and getting married. I had to quickly explain what's going on, she cut the call and never talk to me again. Princess Horpsy.

Now, I had to inform one of the men that I guessed impregnated me at least I don't produce sperm and someone must take responsibilities. He never denied but said he was coming to Ibadan and we should meet to discuss on it. My Boyfriend followed me to Ibadan to meet the person that impregnated his future wife. Walai, no be today I no get sense 😝😝😝😝😝

We met and the guy said he have a doctor that is good in removing and dissecting pregnancy and we should go to OYO TOWN to meet him as he is waiting for us. He said the doctor doesn't take time so we should quickly be on our way. This was about 5pm. Ibadan to Oyo town just to comot belle. Hmmm. 

They did not even give me VIP treatment, we went to enter kabu kabu bus with my precious pregnancy. I have never been to Oyo town before, we were still waiting for more passengers when my spirit just told me that what if I died there, who will go and deliver my dead body to my parent? My boyfriend will not run away that's if they don't kill the both of us there but he may be in jail till now.

My mum wasn't picking my call or talking to me so I called my dad and told him I wanted to tell him something important, He said he was driving and I should send a text for him to read when he parks. So, I typed 'I am pregnant, they are carrying me to Oyo to remove it' something in that line. Short and precise. He called me back immediately, asked me where I am and I told him. He immediately ordered me to drop and come home. 

The speed I use to jump down from that bus and said I was not going again, when they were trying to convince me, I quickly added that my dad knows about it and asked me to come home. Everyone immediately gave up. 

The story is still long, I will conclude it in part 3.

Song for today Baba by Kizz Daniel

#hermothersdaughter #myfirstpregnancy #princesshorpsy #firsttimemum #pregnancy

THE DAY I GOT PREGNANT. PART 1.

Just kidding.

I didn't know the day I got pregnant but I took in within 2 months of my physical exposure to sex because I have only watched it on video but never practiced.

Growing up, I had promised myself that I would start having sex when I turned 21 and that was what I did but without sex education. A very big mistake, but don't blame me here, I am an old woman.😜

A little back story, I had an extra year in school which means I had enough time to explore, what did they say about the Idle mind? The Idle mind led me to meet one guy that was as Idle as me. He is older and had explore sex. I cant remember how he convinced me to have sex with me but we started somewhere.

He would take me to his friends place, damn, I have taken a lot of risk in my life, no wonder My mum was doing vigil back to back. I didn't even have a standard because I remember in one of our escapades, I had giving him my money to pay for an hotel for us. 'upcoming sugar mummy'

My introduction to sex was so good that I started being the one to reach out to him for sex 'feminist' so we were having it back to back, he even at a point introduced me to alcohol and he would buy me TomTom when we are going back home.

Where were my parents? I actually told them I was going to the library so they didn't know any of this. Princess Horpsy 

One of my old school mate reached out to me and I also had sex with him that period, remember that I was not sexually educated so I was just 'enjoying' myself, jumping from one man to the other, while lying to everyone except me, till I couldn't find my period that February.

I actually did not need a soothsayer to formally inform me that I am pregnant. 😂😂😂😂. Back then, test strip wasn't common but deep within me I knew this was the cockroach women always swallow. I had never missed my period except that month so that was definitely it.

I found out on my way back to school to go and rewrite my failed courses. (mad oh) I couldn't tell anyone.

Plot twist, I had a Boyfriend in a serious relationship with and we were both keeping ourselves till marriage. 😂😂😂 We don't live in the same state, the plan was to go from home, spend some days with him before I proceed to school. My parent did not also know about this, I can see your eyes, dont judge me.

Remember, I had started having sex without my boyfriends knowledge and I have been enjoying it so I had hinted him that when I come we should try it since I planned to have it at 21 anyways, so lets make it happen. He was also excited and was anticipating for when I would land. 

To God be the Glory, I landed with pregnancy.

Let me know if you enjoyed this so I can publish the remaining part.

Song of the day Ekaette by Maye Hunta

#hermotherdaughter #myfirstpregnancy #princesshorpsy #Nigerian

Me and Church boy.

 What happened between me and this man. 

I can't remember his name as we didn't spend up to a week knowing ourselves. He had invited me to church that Sunday and our plan was that after church, we would meet together in the evening as he had said he wanted to join my evening walk so we can know ourselves better while on an activity.

It sounded like a nice plan, so I met him in Church. The service went well and we were also anticipating seeing each other physically during the service. After the service, he said he had somewhere else to go and he would like me to follow him as it would be fun and we would come back for our walk in the evening.

I initially refused but he kept teasing me and promising it would be fun, so I followed this stranger in excitement to where I did not plan nor know about. The house turned studio was far from the main road and inside all this abandoned houses that the will name 'close' in Nigeria.

I was the only woman in that house as at when I got there but I wasn't scared though because that's not my first time in such situation and i love taking risks like that. 😍 He already told me that there would be lunch but as usual, there is nothing.

After about an hour, he said he was stepping out with one of the guys, he wont be long and he would get me food on his way back. The was light so I held on to his promise and was watching TV. After a while, a girl came to join me. She was the one that was suppose to anchor the program or whatever.

Now I have been waiting for about 3 hours now, no food, nothing. I know I should have stand up to find my way but I was using the period to charge my phone as light wasnt stable in my home.

He came back sweating and apologizing while giving me bread because 'he didn't see food to buy'. Before you say, its the thought that count, I am not a fan of bread, It is not something I appreciate and it felt like an insult.

How would I be waiting for 3 hours and you present me bread as lunch.

This is almost 4pm and I had told this man earlier that I start my walk by 4pm and I would like to take my leave as to go prepare for my walk and freshening up. He started begging me to stay that they would soon be done and I kept saying No that I wanted to leave, he went to call everyone that I am angry and want to leave so they should beg me to stay after telling him the reason why I wanted to leave.

Now, this is embarrassing so I had to stay for what was never my business. He later got me food but I was tired and angry and my mood was completely off. There and then, I decided that we would never meet again, not even by mistake.

I got home around 6.30pm, with a completely wasted day, regret, tired and pissed. I learnt once again never to bend for men nor change my schedule based on emotions.

He reached out to me to apologize but we ended up blocking each other and that is the end of a relationship that never started.

Short man.

Song for the day: Raindrops by Tuface.

#hermothersdaughter #princesshorpsy

HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY, MUMMY

 NOVEMBER 2ND 2024.

This day was suppose to be my mum's 60th birthday. 

She had look forward to this day since when she was 55 years old, it fell on a Saturday just like my 30th and she had hoped to throw a big party to celebrate her birthday and her retirement.  2 years ago, she started telling everyone how she would celebrate her birthday with joy and how she would rest from going to work.

She even told me the birthday gift she was expecting from me was a husband or my own child because she want to resume her Grandma duties, we laughed about it and that was all. 

Death is funny.

It watched my mum prepare for her 60th and still took her before she can witness the day and that brings me to the question, "What are we even doing in this world when we would still die". This is also one of the part that pained me the most when she died. I mean, she could have waited an extra year, celebrate her birthday and died since we would still all die.

Apart from being a Nurse, my mum loved partying, doing house chores, food, dancing and her laughter was the best ever. Her only worry in her lifetime was how her children will get to the top. She doesn't care for clothes, shoes, jewelries or where her next meal is coming from but her children. She only had 3 of us  because that is the number she can personally take care of. And we all went to one of the best schools, if I do say so myself

I took a lot of personalities from her including not worrying about things that I can't control. I also wont be picking some of her personalities because we are not the same people.

On Saturday, I just stayed imagining how that day would have been if she was alive to celebrate her birthday. It would have been grand, I would have been one of the happiest child that day.

I am grateful I came through her, She did more than a mother hawk when protecting us, She provided all we need to the T, She took motherhood up there that I fear I may not be a 30% of the mother she was when I start having my kids.

Happy Birthday to my Superwoman.

I wish she had stayed longer to be celebrated but I know she's' forever watching us from up there.

Please, any chance you get to celebrate yourself, Please do. You may never know the last one.

Song for the day is Iya Ni Wura by Olayimika Babalola.

#hermothersdaughter.